Transcript

[TRANSCRIPT]

**0:00:06** – (Zoe Fox): Hello and welcome to Her Power, the podcast, with me, your host, Zoe Fox. And we are back again already. Can you believe the last week has flown by? So Her Power the podcast is essentially the podcast for women who are healing the past. Perhaps you’ve been through some challenges and we’re really getting ready to see just how good life can get. It’s a journey of self discovery, of rediscovery, of learning who we are beyond the challenges, beyond the trauma, beyond the outdated thinking patterns that have been holding us back and of course, the societal limitations that we found ourselves rubbing up against throughout the years.

**0:00:49** – (Zoe Fox): So in last week’s episode, we were speaking about fear and connecting with your potential on the other side of fear. After I had my public speaking event with Wildflowers of London. So I was just speaking a little bit about some of the anxiety that was coming up around that public speaking event. And if you want to check that episode out, it’s the last episode, so you can check that out. But towards the end of the episode, I asked you what you would do tomorrow if fear wasn’t a thing.

**0:01:28** – (Zoe Fox): What would you do tomorrow if fear wasn’t a thing? And I’m wondering if you had the chance to have a think about it, a ponder over it, or maybe you even got busy with your journal to do a bit more deeper thinking or just letting that thought process flow through the pen onto the paper just to explore that topic a little bit. So with that, I was thinking, like, what shall I talk about today? Is it like the second week of the summer holiday? I’ve been swimming today, so I’m like trying to go with what’s been floating about for me or what I’ve been thinking about.

**0:02:08** – (Zoe Fox): And I thought today, I’m quite tired, it’s late. I’ve been waiting for my little one to go to sleep for like for ages. She’s still awake. But I thought, I’ve got to get this done because tomorrow it’s not going to happen. So I thought, let me call on my oracle cards. Oracle cards are something that I use a lot to help me connect to my intuition and yeah, just to seek some divine guidance. So the card that I pulled today, which was actually right on the money, when I asked for a card for the community, it was what had been on my mind.

**0:02:45** – (Zoe Fox): So it’s Lilith. And that is Face Your Shadow. That might well be back to front. Face. Your shadow. And that’s interesting because I was thinking about following on from last week. What would we do on the other side of fear is what is it that you’re actually afraid of? What is it that is holding us back from really connecting to our greatest potential? I know in my experience, I mean, I’ve been on this journey for a long time now.

**0:03:16** – (Zoe Fox): As I said last episode, and in many episodes before, I used to live from a position of fear, and it used to really dictate my life and control my ability to get anywhere near me in my potential. It inhibited me so much that it prevented me from even leaving my house at one period of time. I was agoraphobic. So I know about fear, and I can think of many things that it was holding me back from doing it and holding me back from achieving. But what was it that I was actually afraid of?

**0:03:50** – (Zoe Fox): And that’s another question that we can start asking ourselves. But you’ve got to be prepared to be really honest with yourself yeah. In order to move it out the way so that you can move that little bit closer to who you came here to be. Because the fact that we’re alive today is miraculous, really, when you think about it. The chance of that sperm meeting that egg and all of that coming together at this point in space and time, that is incredible.

**0:04:22** – (Zoe Fox): So let’s try and make the most of it. That’s what I’m here to do. Given all of the challenges that I’ve come through, it’s like, all right, how good can life get? So let’s have a look and start thinking about some of the obstacles that are holding us back. So what are you afraid of? When I think back to back in the day, before I got onto this sort of purpose led mission, after my spinal cord injury, I say that it’s been ongoing for a longer period of time than that. But the fears really shifted since that injury. I think facing that injury, for me, was a huge eye opener in the sense that it really kind of showed me that I’ve come face to face with some of the darkest fears that I would ever have imagined.

**0:05:13** – (Zoe Fox): And actually, in the face of it, I mean, don’t get me wrong, there have been difficult situations, but in the face of it, I’m still here, I’m still smiling, I’ve still got a lot to be grateful for. So what is really the worst thing that could happen, and the beautiful thing about it is we do have some control over how we respond to some of these difficult circumstances. You have got a say as to whether you experience your worst nightmare on this earth or whether you enable yourself to live in the most beautiful aspects of this existence. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s easy.

**0:05:57** – (Zoe Fox): Listen, I’m not sitting here as someone who’s had this easy, privileged experience in life. Sitting here and saying, oh, you choose, of course, difficult things happen, and there will be people who have had much more difficult circumstances than I’ve had to come up against. And it is really individual. But one of the things that I’ve learned throughout the years is that there’s stuff that I can do to improve my experience.

**0:06:23** – (Zoe Fox): So I’m always trying to do that, always trying to focus on what can I do to make this difficult situation that bit better? And for me, a lot of that has been about connecting with enjoyment and possibility and following the things that bring me joy and doing more of those. So the thing about joy is it’s really high frequency. And when you’re emanating from a place of joy, it makes it so much easier to create and to manifest things in your life when you’re operating from a place of fear, fear is a real low vibrational energy.

**0:07:00** – (Zoe Fox): So when you’re going through these different aspects of your life, these different polarities, if you like, and it’s not about trying to stay in one place or the other, it’s about trying to find this balance in between. So we’re not stuck in the extremes and we’re straddling this human existence and making the most of it. So when you are in those lower echelons of your vibration and you’re feeling fear, you notice the type of things that you start attracting in your life, the type of interactions that you start having with people.

**0:07:38** – (Zoe Fox): If you step out your door and you’re in this sort of energy and you’re going out in fear and you’ve got a bit of AG attached, maybe, and then other people quite often meet you with similar energy. But if you go out and you’re feeling relaxed, you’re enjoying the day and you’re smiling, then people will smile back. So you tend to attract other people on that same vibration or you’ll tend to notice more things that match up with that frequency.

**0:08:07** – (Zoe Fox): So I at one point, was really afraid of not meeting my potential. I had this strong sense in my life that I was made for more than the life that I was experiencing. I’m like, surely this is not it. I’ve got a sense that I’m here for a reason, I’m here for a purpose. But at the moment, I don’t know what that is. And I don’t know if I’m being a bit deluded because actually my existence and everything that’s surrounding me is showing me that maybe this is it.

**0:08:39** – (Zoe Fox): And maybe that I’m living in a fantasy world in my head, hoping that I can be worthy of something more enjoyable, something more high vibrational and something more beautiful. Instead of being in this very depressed and anxious state, doing a job that I was not enjoying in an industry, that it did not ignite my soul one bit. In fact, it repelled every ounce of me in a relationship. At the time, that was very low vibrational.

**0:09:12** – (Zoe Fox): I really didn’t believe that there was much for my future. But again, there was just this little feeling inside me that there’s got to be more to life than this. There’s got to be more to life than this. And I think if you’re willing to ask yourself these questions, you might surprise yourself in receiving some answers. And I often say, I’m not saying this is always going to happen overnight, but when you’ve got the intention and you’re open, I think that that then allows the opportunity for some of this wisdom to start to come through. So it’s like, I’m sure there’s more to life than this.

**0:09:47** – (Zoe Fox): Then everything within you is then trying to start to find ways to prove that, well, yeah, maybe there is more to life than this. Or what is the lesson that I need to learn from this difficult experience? What is there that I need to know? I found asking myself questions and providing the time and space for answers has been one of the biggest things that’s helped me to move my way from this pit of depression and anxiety and a lack of fulfillment to a place now where I’m excited about what the day is going to bring.

**0:10:22** – (Zoe Fox): I’ve got myself to a point in my life where I look forward to getting up and when I go to bed, my head is buzzing with possibility and ideas. And I always use the time just before I go to sleep to create this mental visualization of my future. And since I’ve been doing that, it’s amazing how it has begun to unfold. Honestly, I have to pinch myself sometimes. Some of these things that I’ve seen in my mind’s eye and how they’ve come to manifest has been mind blowing. And I suppose that’s what’s, like, making me even more determined on this mission and to share it is because I’ve had massive improvements in my life experience for doing this work and asking these questions and having these conversations.

**0:11:12** – (Zoe Fox): And I just want other women to be able to experience that as well. If you’ve gone through a difficult time or if you’ve questioned if this is it, I want you to know that this is not it. I want you to know that there’s so much more possible in life, but you’ve really got to be willing to get to know yourself in a more intimate way and to be more honest and open with yourself than you’ve ever been before.

**0:11:36** – (Zoe Fox): Because sometimes we hide behind the stories that we tell ourself because it feels comfortable. And once you start to break down some of those stories and ask yourself, hang on a minute, is this story even true? Is this even accurate? And then you’re like, well, actually, no, it’s not. So then you can move beyond that story into new possibilities. So, as I said, I was afraid of never reaching my potential.

**0:12:06** – (Zoe Fox): But now I know that that’s a fear that I’m not going to die with, because I’m out here and I’m doing it and I’m practicing it and just pushing life to see what else is possible. From someone who grew up working class woman of color, mixed race, black, Caribbean, white, British. Just a lack of opportunities. Grew up in the 80s? Yeah, I just didn’t really have high expectations from my life, but now I’m tasting and experiencing things that I could only have ever have met in my wildest dreams before. But now all this magic is happening in my life and I’m like, there’s something in this if you can begin to master your mindset. And I know people talk about manifestation and it’s a bit like, yeah, whatever.

**0:12:57** – (Zoe Fox): But for me, and I’ve said this in past episodes, it’s not just about, I want a new car, I’m going to think of a new car and the universe is going to give me a new car. It doesn’t always work like that. But if you can do this work to, first of all, think about what it is you want, what’s holding you back, move the obstacles that are holding you back, connect with your confidence, start taking bold and courageous steps to go outside of your comfort zone. And then you’re met with this whole new world of possibilities that you’d never even imagined before because you were keeping yourself small and limited.

**0:13:36** – (Zoe Fox): So it’s really exciting when you start to do this work and you start to be like, well, worst case scenario, nothing comes of it. Best case scenario, I get to see what my highest potential is and I get to experience what life feels like living at that level. So when you start to think about your fears, what is it that you’re scared of? I know for me, I had some stuff as well about being scared to fail, but the truth is I was failing by not even trying to get started, if that makes sense.

**0:14:15** – (Zoe Fox): I was failing myself by not even being willing to take that one step forward to doing something that might have made me cringe a little bit or I was a bit anxious or nervous about, but I used to let myself just get stuck and I wouldn’t take the next step. So I was failing myself, even though I was doing the very thing that I was fearing by not taking any action. But I’ve got to a position and a point in my life now where I’ve let go of the need for perfection.

**0:14:48** – (Zoe Fox): I’ve let go of the need to impress anyone other than myself. In that respect. It’s like, it’s not about how you can be better than anybody else. In my experience, like, the most rewarding thing is, how can I be better than I was yesterday? Because that’s what I’m doing at the moment. I’m like, I’m remembering that person who was depressed, anxious at times, had suicidal thoughts and had a very bleak look outlook for the future.

**0:15:22** – (Zoe Fox): I’m just trying to impress her. I’m just trying to show her, look what’s possible, look how low you were and how dark life was and look what you’ve managed to bring to fruition. And you’ve done it through your own work. And you don’t need a big budget, you don’t need a huge income. This is just about having the courage and being willing to take steps that might make you feel uncomfortable. And when I say that, when I say, like, step out the comfort zone and step into the fear, I’m not talking about doing anything stupid like going into a lion’s den, because obviously that fear is there for a reason.

**0:16:04** – (Zoe Fox): But if it’s something that it is effectively safe, but it’s a bit of a risk for you, then take those risks. Get to know yourself in the face of going into these difficult situations. Get to adjust your nervous system to taking these risks. And then the next time it’s not going to feel as scary. Because I remember when I first started taking these risks and getting out of my comfort zone, it was huge. Like, I was in this mentoring group at one time and how now I’ll just talk on a camera.

**0:16:39** – (Zoe Fox): I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of it. And one of the challenges that I needed to do was to go out in public and film. And I remember going out with my camera and just looking around and being really super conscious of anyone that was there and being really scared to talk. And when was this now? About 2015, I think that must have been. But then how my confidence started to build with it. So I’m wondering, what are you holding yourself back with at the moment?

**0:17:11** – (Zoe Fox): What are the excuses that you’re making as well? Because I think it’s easy for us to make these excuses again, which are part of these stories that we tell ourselves as to why we should just accept where we’re at because we try and rationalize it through these little things that we’re telling ourselves. But yeah, I’m just wondering what it would look like to move beyond that and thinking about your fears and thinking about what you’re afraid of.

**0:17:41** – (Zoe Fox): How does it feel even allowing yourself to entertain what you’re truly afraid of? Yeah, I’m wondering what things might be coming up for some people. Some people it might be fear of failure, fear of looking stupid, fear of what people might say. There’s lots of different fears, I’m sure, that can be holding people back. But what does it feel like to say them out loud? I remember when I started well, when I went into therapy, which was like the life changing therapy that I had that then changed all of these thought patterns or helped me to think about things differently. And then led me to go on to actually go back to Uni as a mature student to study counseling myself.

**0:18:32** – (Zoe Fox): Because I was like, wow, this is so powerful. But I remember speaking to the therapist about how I was really rigid about just everything, like I mentioned in last week’s episode, getting on the tube, for example, or doing anything that was outside of exactly how I’d planned it to be. And she’s like, well, what’s the worst thing, what are you expecting to happen? What’s the worst thing that could happen?

**0:19:01** – (Zoe Fox): And I can’t remember exactly what I said at the time, but it was probably based around some sort of coming to harm or I was really paranoid about dying on the underground or just that sort of thing. But then when you say it out loud and I was also scared that if I said it out loud, then that meant that it was going to happen or something like that. So once she got me to say it out loud and actually question, well, is that true?

**0:19:32** – (Zoe Fox): Is that likely? And I was like, well, no, and sometimes you have to say it out loud to help you to get your power back. Because when we hold these things in and this is another reason why I’m an advocate for journaling, but I think there’s also some value in recording ourselves or standing in the mirror, like I’ve mentioned before, and looking ourselves in the eye and saying some stuff. Because when you’re looking yourself in the eye, you can’t really hide from yourself.

**0:20:05** – (Zoe Fox): So maybe it might be an idea for you to just have a little think about what you fear, have a go at saying it out loud, seeing how that makes you feel, and then, yeah, just moving beyond it, allow yourself to move beyond that fear and to start really focusing in on the possibilities. Because when you can move from the object that’s blocking you, it’s like if you’re walking down the road and there’s a barrier in the way and you’re just focusing on the barrier and thinking about, how am I going to get around this barrier that’s in my way.

**0:20:53** – (Zoe Fox): But actually, if you keep your head on your destination rather than on the barrier, then you can problem solve and find ways to move around that barrier and crack on and get to your destination. So, yeah, I think there’s a lot of benefit in taking the time to just build into your daily routine to allow yourself to keep nurturing this visualization and this idea of what could be possible. So, in facing your shadows, what shadows are lurking around your corners?

**0:21:33** – (Zoe Fox): What shadows can you bring some light to over the next week? What shadows have you got that are holding you back, really, from reaching your potential at the moment, and how can we move beyond them? So another thing that I wanted to do I know there’s quite a lot of things to think about, but just as we wrap up this episode, one thing that I wanted to do over the next few weeks was to ask some of the questions from my Empowered Life Assessment, which is a free download that I have got on my website.

**0:22:09** – (Zoe Fox): So please feel free to go to Zoefox Co UK and download that. And there’s twelve questions on there that really help you to connect into what you want from life, what your motivations are. And I think, once again, like I keep saying, once you can start to get clear on that vision because sometimes we just don’t know. We don’t know what we want and we’re sort of bobbing about in the sea of life without any real clear direction.

**0:22:36** – (Zoe Fox): And unless it’s again, going back to that barrier in your way, once you’ve got a clear destination, you don’t need to know all the ins and outs of it. It just makes it so much easier to start moving towards it. So once you’ve connected to what’s driving you, it makes it a little bit easier to get there. So I want to ask you a question and I want you to think about answering that again in your journal or just in your head.

**0:23:09** – (Zoe Fox): And the question that I’m inviting you to ask is what are your deepest desires and aspirations in life? And we are thinking about that in terms of your career, your relationships, your health, your personal growth, your overall well being. What does that look like in its idealist, in your most ideal vision? Just allow yourself to really explore that and to go wherever you want with that. And don’t allow yourself to be limited by the stories because as you’re writing things, you might find that you’re going, oh, the doubt starts creeping in, but go with what is going to come from the heart.

**0:23:56** – (Zoe Fox): And another way to deepen this is to just give yourself a little bit of time, carve out some time in the day to do this, to make it a really valuable exercise. Take a seat, get comfortable, get your water, get your journal, and just give yourself a moment to allow your shoulders to relax and for you to connect to your breath. And just sigh away any of the stress of the day and take a few deep breaths and just invite yourself to connect to the highest vision for yourself.

**0:24:33** – (Zoe Fox): And once you feel like you’ve kind of landed and arrived in that moment, that’s a really good time to start asking, so what are your deepest desires and aspirations in life? Yeah, enjoy it, it’s exciting. Allow yourself to enter these journal prompts and these activities that we sometimes do here with an element of possibility and excitement and childlike wonder and curiosity. Reengage with that because that energy is magic.

**0:25:10** – (Zoe Fox): When you can start to visualize your future from a place of excitement and this energy that can sprinkle up with that childlike wonder, it’s a really powerful set of energy for creating what you want in your life. But if you go into the activity and you’re feeling limited and you’re feeling negative and you’ll restrict the vision of what’s possible for yourself, but, yeah, just think about the vastness of where we live. We’re on a little island, well, a world floating around in space in an infinite universe.

**0:25:59** – (Zoe Fox): So don’t allow your vision for yourself to be limited by the four walls that you’re sitting in. Allow yourself to dream big and really expand on what’s possible. So I will look forward to hearing from you about how you found this activity or were you able to connect to that excitement and possibility? And did you allow yourself to dream big? And if you do notice any resistance coming up, then you can journal about that as well.

**0:26:34** – (Zoe Fox): But, yeah, be unlimited, connect with possibility. You’ll surprise yourself one year from now. You’ll surprise yourself if you keep up this work. So I’m going to leave it there on that note, and I will look forward to catching you next week. Please do subscribe to the podcast. You can check us out on YouTube, Apple podcast spotify. I’d love to have your questions. If there’s anything that you’d like us to bring up on the podcast.

**0:27:07** – (Zoe Fox): If you’ve got any questions for me, please don’t hesitate. You can slide into my DMs on Instagram at zoe. E fox. You can hit me up on LinkedIn. You can find me at the website, which is zoefox co UK. Yes, I’d love to hear more from you about some of the things that you’re thinking about or where you’re allowing yourself to dream and what’s coming up for you in your visualizations. So on that note, we’ll leave it there.

**0:27:39** – (Zoe Fox): I’m going to wish you a beautiful week ahead. Start thinking about some of those shadows that you’re going to start courageously preparing to face and release. And, yeah, you are courageous. You’re amazing. You’re listening to this podcast. There’s something within you that is wanting to evolve and emerge and we’re all here on this journey together where our potential is waiting to just flow through us.

**0:28:05** – (Zoe Fox): So dare to dream, my SIS. I’ll leave it there with big love. Peace out and I’ll catch you next weekend.